Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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