just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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