Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
