Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
