You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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