I think I am morally bankrupt
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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