there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think i got beer on your cat.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
