a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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