I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
