Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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