someone threw a dead crab at me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
