I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.