I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
