Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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