Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
