I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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