whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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