4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
