At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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