He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
