he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
