So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
