Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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