I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
