I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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