you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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