You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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