I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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