i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think people are normalizing furries
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
