Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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