he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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