I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
