I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
