I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
