His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
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So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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