I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
