I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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