I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
