awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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