her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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