He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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