she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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