Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
