It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
