Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
