i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
