Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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