whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
