There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
