Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize