Do you still have your period?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
