question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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