I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
