I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize