last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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