I cockslap morals
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Congratulations! We have a period
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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