Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I forget how to act sober
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize