3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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