If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize