the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
