Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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