wrigley field is MILF paradise
Screwed.edu
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
