Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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